abandoned to Love and Grace

take take take it all

ive gotta stop facebooking and playing winning eleven too much. work takes up 8am – 7pm exercise takes up 7pm-8pm and sleep takes up 12am – 7am. 

which leaves me FOUR HOURS of alone human thinking time or chillz out time or rest myself time, hahahaha. 

even if i had another 24 hours, wouldnt be enough anw. 

today while running, i tried to race God, the sun was setting and its at the halfway mark of the canal where there would be a bridge across and the view there is magnificent, so i tried to get there before the sun disappears and well, God being God, won the race and i reached there in time to see the sun just disappear beyond the trees. 
must train harder to reach there next time, hahahaha

christopher

sorry’s not good enough

rushing out a report now, had a rather good weekend of resting and soccer. i woke up on sunday morning thinking, gosh the weekend passed so fast i hardly had time to contemplate anything. 

i realised exercising is a way that i revitalise and re-energise myself, which to some people might sound weird cause after a workout you’re supposed to feel tired and stuff, but im not. 

another week at work will take me to two months working and leaves me with about a month half more. Time passes huh, just when im in the midst of it. 

Joshua 1:9
⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

lately, ive been thinking of God’s direction for me and up till now, im only seeing as far as my two feet are and nothing more, it really challenges me to trust God’s heart and yearn for His voice more in these days when pressures to do well are very strong and even coming from my parents. How to tell them that suceess sometimes dont define the person you are and that i trust in My God that can provide. somemore i want to marry young. 

ohwell, one step at a time, and its the season of growth within growing. 

christopher

stop right there, that’s exactly where i lost it

so i wont hesitate, no more, no more
it cannot wait, im yours

ask me where do i wanna be 5 years down the road, i think i wanna be overseas, australia mabybe, doing a degree.

something small but unexpected happened and i cant help thank God, and it certainly nudges me onward to a different direction in my life.

i dont know, maybe i will go overseas and maybe i’ll stay there, who knows.  

anw, at work this week is like safety week thing, tmr is supposedly a surprise trial to test our evac timing for the real thing on thursday, haha, how exciting. 
today tim qin and sarah were trying to win a trip to aus, i might join in the hunt, see if we can get paid leave to go aus.

EVERYTHING IS ABOUT AUSTRALIA NOW, haha.

christopher

i will not be moved
i will stand for You

i will go where you send me
Jesus take me now, i am Yours

thank God my blog page still loads when almost every post is accompanied by some huge sized picture, haha

i really marvel at the sky when i took this picture, really at awe and just totally inspired by God.
still praying for that inspiration for God to reveal to me the things He created that i can take a picture of and glorify God.

ive been blessed in many ways by God, small big and in the trying trial times, ive been blessed greatly.
i Love God really!  
indeed many times over, better is one day in His courts than a thousand elsewheres. 

i met with some of the fo2 clique at newton circus for dinner and it was really fun! loved eating there, talking and just laughing (although i felt really bloated even before dinner) but the food was great, music was…. entertaining, company…  priceless. 

christopher

ive got a piece of paper
but its empty

i admit, the long days of work and lonely nights at home gets to me, im fallible im weak and it honestly feels very empty and lonely going back to a home that feels like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode in your face. 
but ohwell, i do what i can, make the mistakes i cant turn back, i have to move on.

it was nice today after gym to just take a stroll to buy ingredients to cook my dinner and spend some quiet time outside the house. my dinner turned out terrible though, wasnt even concentrating, hahaha. 

as i was showering too, i was wondering why do we live in a world where the worst of people are sometimes the easiest thing we see and the best of others are the easiest to overlook. 

oh the strength i need to keep going, Lord you provide. 

christopher

when the world is falling out from under me, i’ll be found in You still standing

if i had 10cents for every heartache, negative thought, headache, frustration, irritated thought and urge to just shoot myself

i’ll be rich, rich i tell you

hahahah, ohwell life doesnt come with cakes and roses with a little muffin. 
but i sure do want 10cents for every of those mentioned above.

christopher

sometimes, it goes to show how much i mean la hor… 
irritated… 
humans are the worst of it kind seriously 
not k  
christopher

oh the wonderful cross, oh the wonderful cross
bids me come and die and find that i may truly live 

for the past few days, many things came into mind to what i should deny and be dying towards. 
ive atually thought about them, and wondered, is it worth it? how sometimes, it sounds bad, following Christ sounds terrible to some, what dying lah, what denying lah, what torture what restrictions, yet…
its in it we find freedom, like dying to live, losing to gain…
obeying and followng in complete compliance to God’s will, will give you freedom.

one of the things i was to deny is to be friend dependent. many times in a group setting i find myself yearning for the attention, yearning for the “adoration” given to some and how some are more popular, but i guess, when ure up there, you cant see the ground, and you lose sight of those who are left out and lose sight of where you’re standing truly.

ive realised God’s strength comes in funny ways.
in a soccer match, i prayed for God’s strength, He doesnt give me the ability to play well, He gives me the strength to go back for more, to not be discouraged and give me the push harder.
at work, i prayed for Him to give me strength to trudge through the day, yet He gives me many situations to handle so that i can lean on Him constantly and not be contented to just have strength and live through the day like that. 
while studying , i prayed for strength to study, yet He tells me to rest, and lift the exam paper into His hands and trust.

people looked for a king, a messiah to save them, yet He was slain on the cross to save us.

christopher

supposed to be a picture here, 

supposed to be some song lyrics here that reflects how i feel

supposed to be how i feel here

but nothing is coming out, im feeling very very strange today……
indescribably, very strangely weird….. i dont know why.
myterious indeed…..  

christopher

In the autumn on the ground 
Between the traffic and the ordinary sounds 
I am thinking signs and seasons 
While a north wind blows through 

I watch as lovers pass me by 
Walking stories, who’s and how’s and why’s 
Musing lazily on love, pondering you 

Let’s give it time, give it space 
And be still for a spell 
When it’s time to walk that way 
We wanna walk it well  

I’ll be waiting for you baby 
I’ll be holding back the darkest night 
Love is waiting `til we’re ready 
`Til it’s right 
Love is waiting 

It’s my caution not the cold 
There’s no other hand that I would rather hold
The climate changes, I’m singing for strangers about you 

But to me it feels just like
It feels like a lifetime

im feeling a little irritated and abit frustrated, moodless. 

just abit, not too much, hahaha. 

i dislike it when people dont mean what they say, say things just for the sake of it, to appease the other party at the moment in time, esp when it means something and the person who says it dont actually mean it, like empty words with no weight and meaning. it hurts more when people close to you does it to you. 

i dislike it, because im guilty of it as well. 

SIGH, haha. 

remember the forgotten cause sometimes even people who you think are closest to you can be forgotten. 
God gives and takes, when He decides to take a friend, dont regret cause its your fault you didnt bother 

christopher

It is not a human right
To stare not fight
While broken nations dream
Open up our eyes, so blind
That we might find
The Mercy for the need

It is not too far a cry
To much to try
To help the least of these
Politics will not decide
If we should rise
And be your hands and feet

wanted to run today, but im getting lazier and lazier and lazier!!!!! cannot cannot cannot, haha. 

just met with my guys. 

ive got no inspiration today,

time to talk to God! 

christopher